I wanted to get that one on.....if it got lost...i was not retyping it!
I'm having the chance to do some thinking about life and what i want to do, and how i conduct my life.....the one conclusion i have come to is that I'm very indecisive.....I'm sure there are ppl out there that have known this for a while....but it really hit home for me yesterday. When i went to the hot springs...i was fully prepared to go in and chill...then i started thinking about time restrictions and such...so i got to the river....and I'm like....na...i should just go back...got too much other stuff to do...then I'm like....well I'm here....and back and fourth.....so i crossed and found the springs.....same deal there....I need to make a decision and stick with it. But in the end i got to see what i wanted to see.
I need to find the discipline to be able to do this. I need to become a stronger more.......something....dam it....person....I cant let external problems or issues mess with me. I need to find out how to do this. If anyone has any advice...id love to hear it.
Another thing i need to do is....take life by the horns and make it do what i want. Don't just let it happen....I have let it just kinda happen for a while....made some choices that looked good at the time...but did not work out in the end.....that's different tho.....humm....if i want something...i have to get it...sometimes that works out.....sometimes it doesn't...that's life i suppose.
I still have not figured alot of shit out.....but as the miles go by and the van continues to slowly fall apart....I'm getting closer. There are still alot of questions i need to answer......still alot of hurt inside......and thank god for great....fuckin great friends who answer the phone when your smashed, alone, and need someone to talk to @ midnight after the bar. They offer great advice, don't judge, listen and help.....i would be lost with out ppl like this in my life......I'm lucky to have ppl like that for sure.
Ok.....time to get moving.
Next update from a Starbucks further east lol
Cheers everyone